She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
