My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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