nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
