Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Randomize
