I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
