she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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