We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
