Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
