I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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