Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
