She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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