i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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