Already got asked if we're dating
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
