i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
