Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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