he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
