ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
