My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
