oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
