I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
