two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't deserve a penis
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
