Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
