she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
