Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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