glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
