I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
