im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I understand Curling. That high.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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