Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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