she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
