i think my tv is drunk
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do vagina's smell?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
