so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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