I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
