Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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