i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
