How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
