He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
