I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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