She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
