I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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