We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
