Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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