before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
