I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
