I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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