I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
