I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
