I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
