he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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