id be glad to
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
