he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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