he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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